Coming out as transgender to my Mum

“She just enveloped me in this absolute world of love”

WORDS AND VIDEO BY FAY BARRETT, IMAGE BY ALEXANDER GREY VIA PEXELS

I’m sharing a video post, rather than a written one today, as I wanted to capture the emotion, the vulnerability, and humanity of this moment. I wanted people to see my face as I say the words because it’s important we understand what ‘trans’ looks like. And by that I mean trans doesn’t always look the way you think. We are not a stereotype. Trans looks like whatever the person, telling you they are trans, looks like. It’s not a ‘one size fits all’ situation. I know many people would question the validity of me claiming the ‘trans label’. Just because someone looks ‘softer’ than you’d imagine, does not negate the way they feel inside.

All I would say is, the person who knows me best, the person that I’m physically part of, My Mum, was not surprised (as you’ll see in the video). So please be kind, please listen, and please don’t erase someone’s identity by telling them they are wrong. Often we present differently outwardly because we don’t feel safe. Not necessarily of physical violence (although this is very real). For me it’s been about not feeling emotionally safe. Feeling scared that people would deny the truth of my own existence by questioning what I’m saying.

So please, look at this video, see the truth in my eyes, and remember to show absolute kindness and compassion for anyone who tells you they are not on the gender binary. Please believe them.